Queer Kid of Color

 It was the blog that started QueerKidofColor.com and now I think I want to revisit it.

It’s ironic how sexual incompatibility means everything when you’re in a relationship. It means who would be the aggressor or the passive one. The one with the more emotions and the one who is expected to be grounded. I don’t like to put labels on people and I don’t agree with sexual roles. That’s why I’m doing this particularly featured blog to see what exactly are the roles that come with being a top and a bottom. And if there is more to it then it just being just a sexual thing.

I recently read Get By: A survival guide for black gay youth written by Jonathan W. Jones. I think that the author offered a simple yet thorough explanation on what it means to be a top and bottom. The definition are as followed:

A top- the Person who is penetrating on top
A bottom- the sexual partner who is the recipient of the penis during the anal intercourse

I think we can all agree with Jonathan’s par-take on what being a top and bottom means. But has being a top or bottom grown to be just more then penetration or receiving. Is there more to this toll? Well, I think its gotten to that point. Something I completely disagree with. Being a top and bottom has now grown to the stigmatization of someone’s character; fem, masculine. Many people believe that bottoms can only be fem and tops can only be masculine and versatile are a mixture of both masculinity and femininity [dont get me started]. I find that oblivious.I have met masculine bottoms and I have also come across feminine tops. And there’s no such thing as a ‘mixture of both’. Meaning, I don’t think a person can be both masculine and feminine.Either which way, the portrayal of one’s character means nothing to me. In a recent telephone interview with my friend, K, he tells me, “I’m masculine and I’m a bottom. I’m more masculine then my shorty. But that’s the way I like it. It’s about what you like.” I asked him had his boyfriend been a bottom would he be with him in which he replied with haste “No. I like to be receiving. That’s just me. And if no one can handle it then oh well.” So basically no sexual incompatibility, then there’s no relationship.

I also interviewed my friend W online. He gave me his reflection on what a bottom is to him, “A gay male that is usually the more feminine in the relationship that receives the sexual pleasure…or penis. Also the more emotional of the two..” So, now we’ve come to know bottoms as emotional and feminine. Flabbergasted right? I asked my friend E what makes a top. In which he replied, “ to fuck a guy, get head, kiss if he’s into that” it gets stranger “a real top is about sex not love” So, let me gather this information. Bottoms show emotions, you can only date someone if they don’t have the same sexual role as you, and tops like “to fuck a guy”. I’m guessing that everyone has their own interpretation of things.

I do have two friends who are dating and they are both tops. How they’re going to work that out I don’t know. They told me, when the time is right, they’ll make the decision then. Which brings me to my next few questions: is sexual incompatibility really important? Do bottoms have to date tops? And what is it that makes someone a top, vers, or bottom?

Ever since I have switched web hosting service people have been less involved on this site. I think its because the last service I used was much more easy. But still I urge you all to comment and get involved with my postings.

Soon to come I’ll be posting the articles and interviews I have done with/on people like Keith Boykin, Jasmyne Cannick, Patrik Ian Polk, Kevin Aviance, Darryl Stephens, just to name a few… I’m bringing back the originality of the site. Which from its roots was to educate and make Queerkidofcolor.com a forum of conversation.

My blogger event beings next Monday. So please stay tuned.

After this posting  about a young man named Trey who is 22 and HIV positive,  anti-gay homosexual The Captain had a thought provoking comment which led me to ask, is he right? Check out the comment below.

This is just a taste of what is to come in the gay community. As the infection rate increase, more and more men will be contract this virus. Life as they knew it, having fun, being free, being progressive will come to a crashing halt. Having HIV/AIDS is a blow to living life as “normal”. You can no longer give blood, offer a organ transplant, and have difficulting having children and even have to be even MORE careful when engaging into sexual encounters.

This young man is right, when you have HIV/AIDS, the whole world look at you different. Since the gay culture wants to talk about “love and acceptance” all the time- THEY NEED TO START WITH THEIR OWN GAY HIV/AIDS VICTIMS FIRST!!!!!!!

The Christian is out. [no pun intended]He’s still “straight”. I giggle.Now, there’s Sir Intellectual.Quite honestly, I don’t get it. While I do like him and my like for him is slowly but surely fading, he isn’t invested in me. He’s never asked me about me. Never. Like, why can’t you make time to ask me about my interests? Why couldn’t you have told me congratulations on my scholarship, before I had to bring up the subject? He seemed to be more interested in me while I was in college. Now that I’m back it’s a whole different story. We don’t speak on the phone like we use to and he doesn’t even make the extra effort to reply to my messages…sometimes on time, sometimes never.So I get it. I get it now. He doesn’t have any interest in me. And while this may be true, I still have interest in him. It might take me a while to get over him and the few things we’ve done together, but eventually I would be over him. So, why do I like him if he doesn’t show interests in me? Because HIS interests-interests ME. So anyways after I’m over him, then, I’ll be set. And at that moment of finally being able to deposit my feelings for him I’ll be open for someone else. Someone who actually wants to explore all of me intellectually and not just on his bed. Someone who’s willing to ask me about family, dive into my mysteries and joys, and dissect himself not just intimately but from a distance. Because after all, getting to know someone else involves curiosity about where they have come from, who they are. As of this point Mr. Intellectual hasn’t shown it. Until then blogging world I’ll be patient. Continue on with my writing. Expelling and dispelling rumors. And fighting for the rights of homosexuals.Note: I know Sir Intellectual reads my blog sometimes. I’m not doing this to put him on blast. But after all, it is my blog and I can talk about whomever or whatever I want.

Blogger Event Interviewees, thus far:

Shawn QT
MH
Jared
Joey Bahamas

Also I will be posting a virgin story I got from this young man named Drew. He emailed it to me, and I thought it was great.

Also a scholarship that I thought was worth $35,000 was actually worth $43,000! I have a $43,000 scholarship to attend Hampshire College this fall. I’m very excited.
 

The never appropriate & ALWAYS bias Genre and Instinct have never published a face of color ontheir cover. They suck! Boycott their shiteous magazines.It gets worse, I only counted about 8 faces of color when I looked through the last issue of Instinct’s magazine. They think by picking Patrik Ian Polk and Derrick L Briggs as one of their top men that they will relieve them of not having men of color in their magazines. Well I have news for you two despicable magazines! You have terrible articles, disgusting features, and an even more horrible layout.

Gay Christians are Oxymoron

This’ll probably confuse you. Being that you can tell I’m a Christian before being able to tell that I’m of color. That’s how holy I am. But maybe in this post I’ll sound hypocritical. Perhaps a little contradicting.

Gay Christians are Oxymoron. I’ll tell you why.

I’m into politics. I been studying it ever since my co-worker handed me a voter registration form for my birthday last September. So, I have views on what political parties are all about. I think I like to refer to myself as a conservative democrat. Being that I have conservative views…

Last Saturday I watched Elephant In The Room a documentary on Log Cabin Republicans. Which are basically gay republicans. It was a very appealing documentary and I think only the open minded should watch it. I have three gay republican associates. All of them whom are of color. Many would consider gay republicans an oxymoron, being that many republicans are against civil unions for homosexuals. But are they the only oxymoron around?

If gay republicans are oxymoron than so are gay Christians. What makes gay republicans oxymoron? The fact that they are republican. Which is basically another added identity aside from the race, sexual orientation, and gender. What makes a gay Christian an oxymoron? Well, the bible condemns homosexuality 6 times. Calling it immoral, saying that the person who has same gender love for the same sex will be condemn. Forget what homosexuality meant way back then, think of what it means NOW. If the government which runs itself on the church, won’t embrace the gays; If mainstream organizations wont SEES us as invisible; And if the conservative church deems as the sodomites that will burn the world, then why the hell do we consider ourselves Christian?

Bittersweet. Don’t you think.

Check him out.

http://www.spillthetea.blogspot.com/

This is very informal, so…

Okay…so,

I’m back in New York City. Everyone clap.

Gosh, I love the city. Love it. Although it may not be the place I will reside forever, it will always be the number 1 love of my life. I have pains and joys with this city. If I never get in a relationship. That’s ok. I’ll always have New York City.

I’m here in NYC for spring break. I came two days early, why? Well, because I got suspended from school. Dont ask why.

While I’m here I’m helping my sister plan her Sweet 16. She’s doing a TERRIBLE job at it. Horrible. Gosh, she’s lucky to have a gay { or bisexual?} brother who is going to be planning this sweet 16 as though it was his own. So far her colors are pink and white. And I came up with the cute idea of everyone coming in pink or white or pink and white. She’s having 8 boys and 8 girls for her court of honor. She’s allowed to have a maximum of 400 people there. She deserves it. She deserves everything my mother gives her. That child is so unselfish and so giving and caring. Every penny she gets she gives it to my mom, every chance she gets to help out a person in need she’s there, she isn’t greedy, she shares. I cant even bitch about my mom throwing her this sweet 16. I expect my mom to go broke after this. She’s paying my college tuition while still sending me weekly allowances for school. I guess its what she says, you will never know the love a mother has for her child until you have your own children. I plan on having 14 kids; Five from Jared, Five from Joey, two from Shawn QT, one from Marz, and one from Trent.

Random thought: Tell me how I went to TWO different braiding salons and both of them wanted to put extensions on my hair. Are you nuts?

So, while I’m here in NYC I plan to meet up with Sir Intellectual. Who is suppose to be some guy I like. Or I think I like. Or maybe I’m infatuated? I dont know. I’ll forget it out before I leave.
I text messaged him last night and told him to call me if he felt like talking. I guess he didn’t.

I called up The Christian [a guy I use to "hang out" with] yesterday and asked if we could meet before I leave on the 25th and his response was something to the tone of damn thats so close. He’s “straight” now. I guess he’s afraid of me.

I wonder what my first date with someone should be like?

This is his story.

Queer Kid of Color: When did you contract the virus?

Trey: October 14 2005 is when I found out, but I believe I was positive for half a year before that.

Queer Kid of Color:How old were you then?

Trey: Just turned 21.

Queer Kid of Color: Did you know you were HIV positive before getting tested?

Trey: No I didn’t.

Queer Kid of Color: Did you contract anyone else?

Trey: One ex.

Queer Kid of Color: What was your initial reaction to getting the news?

Trey: How do I tell my family when the doctor told me in my gut I already knew I was.

Queer Kid of Color: How did your family take it?

Trey: Mostly cried. Some still don’t know but they hound me am i ok, all the time type questions.

Queer Kid of Color: Does being HIV positive affect you dating and being in relationships?

Trey: Yes. No one wants me no matter how sexy I am, they rather date someone who they don’t know is than date someone they know is.

Queer Kid of Color: Why do you think people the rate among Black gay men is so high?

Trey: Cause so many get hurt and jump into the next relationship one after the next and so they do what’s needed to try and keep that person and with that being careless and just fuck.

Queer Kid of Color: Is that why you think you became positive?

Trey: No I became positive do to my ex, he was cheating and I saw the signs but I loved him and was blinded and allowed myself to get caught up.

Queer Kid of Color: Are you looking to be in a relationship? Do you find yourself desperate at times?

Trey: Yes I am and yes I do sometimes. It becomes depressing. Especially when u like the feeling of being loved.

Queer Kid of Color: Are you optimistic on finding love?

Trey: Not really, I’ve given up.

I saw Trey’s profile on myspace and in it he revealed his HIV positive status, I thought that that was very brave.