Queer Kid of Color

I recently did an interview, here’s the question with my response tell me if you agree:

What do you think are the biggest challenges of
young black male teens and youth?

I think the biggest challenges for young black gay males is trying to fit the image bestowed upon the gay community. We live in a community with what I called are filled with Image extremists. This community is anti-fat, anti-dark skin, anti-feminine, everything is gossip and rumor. We live in a community where the minds of black gay males in general or subtle on the fact that HIV/AIDS is an epidemic.

So, I’m “dating” this guy who is far too religious. He fears that he might lose me to his Christianity. I fear that he’s going to leave me a wreck.

What should I do?

A few weeks ago, I had the honor of attending a party filled with Same Gender Loving men.
Quite honestly I thought this party was going to be a typical-superficial-house party. It was the complete opposite. I found no SGL men with effeminate ways. No flamboyance or flaming brothers at this party-oh no. Some even like football-but we wont get into that.
A few things surprised me at this party. Omar wasn’t as reserved as I thought [srry O]. I found out why Fuzzy is called Fuzzy. Shawn was as freaky as he seemed on his blog-oh, and I got to see the dildo he brought.

I’m going to be honest. In attending the party I wasn’t looking to be served so well. There were a variety of food, drinks, and cum [we’ll get to that too]. There was rice, Mac and Cheese–actually hold up, the Mac and Cheese I gots to be honest. Don’t get upset Fuzzy. It was good, it was. BUT it was a little moist. “But Queer Kid of Color its suppose to be moist.” Then, it was too moist. The chicken I loved. There was spicy chicken and not spicy chicken. I enjoyed it. Now, there was also a different type of chicken-and of course, we’ll get to that.

Ok there wasn’t any sex. Unless you count that nasty directed, written, produced, cast, edited, cinematographically-challenged porno we watched. It was one of those porns that you should only buy as a bootleg. For real though, how the fuck do you have the director’s reflection on the mirror while she’s eating and having her porn stars fucking? It doesn’t make sense to me. Someone please explain.

The closes we got to sex was when Dapur D strapped on Shawn’s dildo- By the way Shawn did you boil that dildo?-and tried to penetrate Shawn. Perhaps they were joking, or perhaps I was hallucinating. You decide.

Now I caught Omar rubbing on some stripper man’s cock. It was a beautiful cock nonetheless. It was something out of a classic porn movie. You know, the cocks were actually pretty and likeable. Nowadays cocks are filled with teeth marks, hickies, and a whole lot of—this is a run on sentence.

Omar at the end of the party softened up and got back to Omar. I liked him that way. He’s so cute and smart, if he wasn’t touching up on stripper man, I would have made out with him. He can also control his temper. As I noticed when the horniest person at the party mistakenly dropped soda on his white jeans. But we wont get into that.

Fuzzy I thought was going to be this flaming queen who would dare to put a wig on and some shoes and walk around as I admire her ass. But nope Fuzzy was different; nice 8PM shadow, tall, dark, handsome. I could have sworn he was Trent Jackson without hair.

Shawn–omg, let me catch my breath. If he wasn’t Fuzzy’s bf. Well, if he wasn’t Fuzzy’s bf. He would be my best friend….with benefits. He was just this HOT ASS nerd.
Oh gurlll he got me wet.

Ok so!

Some boy was licking whip cream off of some guys butt crack. I was like “he didn’t even clean it.” But it was a cute butt–one with stretch marks and all the makings of a bottom.

I would write more. But I can’t go spilling all the T and leave people upset at me. So I’ll end it with this; I love it when I go to a party filled with liberals. It gives me material for my blog.

Yes it does.

Lets abolish the word love! Who’s with me?!

I will be posting regular blogs in a few hours…

In today’s part 2 interview Trent Jackson opens up about the emotional abuse he endure by his mother, his weight, and his future plans.

Queer Kid Of Color: What was some of the emotional abuse?

Trent Jackson : Um, just being called fat, stupid. Her telling me that I was stupid for wanting to be a newscaster, back when I was like 10. Then I remember the moment I wanted to become a writer, she told my teacher that I would never become a writer, and she told me I couldn’t be one. So that created a strain right there…it has kind have been my mission to make her eat her words. So while I went to school to pursue journalism she said that she wasn’t paying. She didn’t I still went and did what I wanted to do. So there is that issue. She doesn’t understand I’m different. I am an individual. What it all boils down to is that I didn’t have to and I won’t put my dreams on hold for someone else as she did. She’s jealous of that.

Queer Kid of Color: You mentioned she use to emotionally abuse you by calling you fat. Do you battle with your weight?

Trent Jackson : Yes and no. Being gay and fat is difficult at times. Because people want you to look a certain way. I don’t really buy into that. I want to lose some weight, but not to fit into anyone else idea of what I should look like. I have a personal limit for my weight, but with that being said, I’ll never be skinny. But

being fat, overweight or whatever is such a horrible thing. Overweight people are socialized to be ashamed and are use to being made fun of. It wasn’t really cool to be fat until Mo’Nique challenged people to think different. Then there was Ruben.

But after a while you get use to it because you define your own happiness, based on your standards and that’s what I’m doing now. If you can accept me for the person I am and how I treat you as a human, fuck you. Go settle for the nigga with the 6-pack that’s going to diss you and treat you like dirt.

Queer Kid of Color: Why do you say you’ll never be skinny?

Trent Jackson : Because it’s not in my genetic make up. Even if I toned up and lost my gut, I’d still be big. Toned but big. I’m a thick boy I’ll never weigh under 200, maybe 190…but that’s it

Queer Kid Of Colo: Is there anything you dislike about yourself?

Trent Jackson : yeah….

Queer Kid Of Color: Which is?

Trent Jackson : keeping it too real! You are alone a lot because people can’t respect the realness. I don’t know why people like to be lied to, cause I sure don’t.

Queer Kid of Color: In retrospect of the things that you’re too real about do you feel guilty about some of those things?

Trent Jackson : Sometimes… I think a lot of the stuff I might say on one of my shows may offend people. Even if it is based on truth, it may come as offensive and I really don’t want to offend anyone.

Queer Kid of Color: Talking about offending. Has there been any bloggers out there who you in-directly offended and have confronted you about it?

Trent Jackson : No, they are scared of me

Queer Kid of Color: Has there been anyone you’ve been beefing it out with?

Trent Jackson : The ones I have directly offended have come to me and we’ve dealt with it, and moved on. Blogger beef is stupid at this point. I understand we’re gay and we’re cliquish by nature but for the most part I respect everyone for their own individual talents.

Queer Kid of Color: I have never read of a blogger beef before. All of us black gay bloggers are all pretty tight.

Trent Jackson : There have been plenty of them, but that’s old and in the past. I mean it’s whatever. There are a few people that I don’t like and when I see them I’ll keep my distance

Queer Kid of Color: Who are they?

Trent Jackson : I’ll never tell

Queer Kid of Color: You said you keep it real.

Trent Jackson : I do. But there is a line between keeping it real and being without decorum.

Queer Kid of Color: Darn, this would have made for a great tabloid story.

Trent Jackson : I mean it’s cool to talk about me and what I do. But for me to talk about someone else is stupid. There is a saying “When speaking with friends do not discuss the rights and wrongs of others” , “When sitting quietly reflect upon your own thoughts.”

Queer Kid of Color: Who are some of your favorite bloggers?

trentjacksonlive: Larry Lyons, Clay, I enjoy Frank Roberts; when he’s not in school, however his pictures are interesting to look at. You know, there was a point in time when I kept up with everyone and their blogs, but now it’s like everyone has a blog and some of the stuff is like, uh…

Queer Kid of Color: I think blogging has lost some of its value.

Trent Jackson : In a sense it has. But however, there are still some enjoyable pieces.

On His Career

Queer Kid of Color: Lets get to the book. Now the book was independently published right?

Trent Jackson : At This Moment, yes, through my Ntrc8te Bliss label.

Queer Kid of Color: It’s amazing that it was able to sell so many copies when it wasn’t going through a publishing house.

Trent Jackson : I was very surprised.

Queer Kid of Color: Why do you think got people so excited about wanting to read the book?

Trent Jackson: Um, I think it’s the truth factor. It’s very real. It tells it like it is. It’s black, it’s white. There is no gray. And people can easily relate to that book. It still amazes me how 2 years later people are still responsive, interested and supportive of At This Moment, so for that I’ll be grateful, because that’s my personal triumph.

Queer Kid of Color: First of all, I got a chance to take a sneak-a-peek of the sequel [Full Circle] which I LOVE. And thank you for that. When is Full Circle going to be available?

Trent Jackson : Don’t make me say a date But definitely at the Top of the year January/February

Queer Kid of Color: Are you sure?

Trent Jackson : Yes. I’m like 50 pages away from the ending. It’s just a matter of everyone else keeping their end of the bargain.

Queer Kid of Color: What do you mean?

Trent Jackson: Well, I mean being an independent artist is difficult. You’re the first to get blamed and the last one to get credit. Not only am I writing the book. I have to manage the business side. That means I am the accountant, the lawyer, the manager, the publicist, the HR man…I do it all. So if the people that I hire or ask to work with me don’t keep their end of the deal, it makes me look less credible which is part of the problem now.

Queer Kid of Color: I wish you the best of luck with that Trent, I’m sure you’ll get it right.

Trent Jackson: I’m excited this time around. Especially about the DVD.

Queer Kid of Color: Tell us about that?

Trent Jackson: It’s a bonus with my pre-order. It will have 6 episodes of my reality show. It will have a documentary on making both books. An animated feature and I ran into someone I went to high school with that actually has footage of me when I was 20, during the writing process of At this moment. And it also has a behind the scenes of my photo shoot.

Queer Kid of Color: Oh that’s hot! I cant wait for that.

Trent Jackson: I try to add the variety. I can do more than just write…

Queer Kid of Color: Yeah. We’re at the conclusion of the interview, is there anything you would like to add?

Trent Jackson : um…That I can’t wait to go out on tour and meet people who support me. All the people that can’t see. All the people that have been holding out for me in person. And I want to say thank you, to you for reaching out to me and embracing my work and enjoying what I do. You inspire me in a lot of ways…more than you know. Because if I didn’t have people like you that kept me going, I’d stop what was doing and just blend in…you and a few others make what I do more important. It becomes selfless

Queer Kid of Color: Trent that is so heartfelt and warm. Thank you

Trent Jackson : And, I admire the fact that you’re young making your mark on the world. That is to be commended. When I was 18, I wanted to be like you-but I was too scared to step out of my shell and do it. So I thank you for being at the realm at the pinnacle of the new generation because so many people are going to look up to you. Look at me and know it’s okay to break…cause it’s apart of like, just don’t let anyone sweep you up.

This past year has been an emotional ride for popular Author and Pod cast host Trent Jackson. And nothing can confirm that more then his blog a few weeks ago. When he revealed his drug use and his near suicidal attempt. In a revealing new interview Trent Jackson gives in a no hold bars interview; the drugs, his relationship with his mother, his relationship with his ex, his newest book, and the suicidal attempt.

http://www.justasktrent.blogspot.com

On Suicide

Queer Kid of Color : Were you contemplating on killing yourself on the freeway?

Trent Jackson : Yes. It’s not funny. It’s tragic that I was that low (again) I was going to wait on an 18 wheeler and jump out.

Queer Kid of Color : What drove you to even consider that?

Trent Jackson : My reoccurring issues with insecurity, not being accepted, not feeling like I really fit into anything, my failed relationships, losing money…loss of interest of life. Things that really held no merit. It could be worse, you know? I think all of those things are the things that make me different and being able to connect with people on a real level. So [I’m] realizing that now. It’s a daily struggle. We all grapple with stuff, but some people are extreme like me and we take everything to the face.

Queer Kid of Color: You mentioned reoccurring issues. And apart of mentioning that you said “losing money,” how much exactly and on what?

Trent Jackson : I lost about 80,000 in a matter of a month just because I thought that I was making the right decisions. I broke open a CD account, which cost me a penalty, then my house fell out of Escrow, and business deals that are still sitting.

I am getting some money back though, so it’s a learning experience. Being able to look at the money knowing it’s there and still going to work everyday and one false move and it’s like damn, what was I thinking.

On His Ex

Queer Kid of Color: Ok lets talk about the ex boyfriend no one likes.

Trent Jackson : [laughs]

Queer Kid of Color: Why have you given him so many chances?

Trent Jackson : Because people have given me chances. Who am I to turn my back on someone who is trying, yet still figuring themselves out, who comes from nothing and no one really showed him how to do anything but just be caught up in an ugly cycle. But I’ve learned that everyone doesn’t want to be helped. It’s like you’re looking across the street at the big house you want to live there, but you don’t know how to get there, then someone takes you there you fuck it up cause you don’t know how to act.

Queer Kid of Color: He’s dating another guy right?

Trent Jackson : In his mind he is

Queer Kid of Color: So, who’s Ricky?

Trent Jackson: Ricky is this man, who uses him for sex only. The same person who introduced him to the whorish lifestyle that he lived. The person who says I love you only during sex. [He introduced him to] sex parties the whole nine, Trent was in love with a hoe. But you look past stuff and look at the persons heart, he has a great heart.

Queer Kid of Color: Has he ever cheated on you?

Trent Jackson: Yes, with Ricky. October 6th.

Queer Kid of Color: And you were was willing to forgive him?

Trent Jackson: Yes. I was concerned about my friendship I can honestly say that when it was just us, it was beautiful, I felt comfortable. I could be myself but it was only when other people were present or in the way which made matters complicated which made me question the whole picture. It’s layered and complex.

It was never about the sex, because I am not one to engage in loose sex like that. Not to say that it hasn’t happened and I was no angel. But I am more of a relationship oriented person and I want my sex with my man to be explosive, something that anyone can get from me…Excuse me…

Queer Kid of Color: What?

Trent Jackson :Something not anyone can get from me.

Queer Kid of Color: How did you know your ex was cheating on you?

Trent Jackson: Lets call him a figment of my imagination, not an ex nor a boyfriend. You can tell when someone is acting different, withdrawing…doing things different. It’s the gay boy intuition in me.

Queer Kid of Color: How did you know it was on October 6?

Trent Jackson : Because first he said “I’m home alone and I don’t want to be home alone.” Then I said do you want me to come over? He said no, you’re hurt don’t move. It was also the night that I was planning a romantic weekend for us then later I found out who he was with and I woke up out of my sleep the exact moment they had sex. I felt it in my body.

Queer Kid of Color: Trent, how many chances will you give him until its enough?

Trent Jackson : Oh it’s done. It’s over Because I need to focus on my career and my work. I owe 12,000 people a book that was supposed to be done months ago. And as of late he has been at the root of most if not all of my stress

Queer Kid of Color: Is he trying to get back with you

Trent Jackson : No. We haven’t talked in a few days. It’s cool. He will call soon and try to talk. He knows the truth and that is hard to handle coming from me

,but he isn’t man enough to admit his mistakes. He’ll wait until I’m happy with someone else before he decides what a fucking idiot he is.

On Drugs:

Queer Kid of Color: Now lets get into a more touchy subject; drugs.

Your first drug; where was it? How were you tempted and what was it?

Trent Jackson : The first time I ever got high was about two weeks ago. Both of my parents were and are addicts so I never had a desire to do drugs. But my friends always get me to smoke weed and I am like please! But one day, I was like let me hit that. And I went home and wrote 75 pages in Full Circle and I was like is this what happens when you’re high? I did it again and the second time I just went to sleep became a little more vocal than I usually am…

Queer Kid of Color: Was it just weed?

Trent Jackson : It wasn’t last week

Queer Kid of Color: What was it last week?

Trent Jackson : Oh, coke

chathouse100: Was that your first and only time?

Trent Jackson : The first time I’ve ever done coke yes…

chathouse100: Would it be the last time?

Trent Jackson : I did like three days. It will definitely be my last time. I’ve always wanted to try it, I just picked a not so right time to try it emotionally.

Queer Kid of Color: you did coke three days straight?

Trent Jackson: Yeah. Friday, Sunday and Monday

Queer Kid of Color: Why coke?

Trent Jackson : Why not? [laughs] [I’m] not endorsing drugs by any means, but people definitely choose what they do. I don’t see myself shooting up or anything like that…so coke. I did a couple of primos. I didn’t enjoy snorting too much, not a fun thing. I’ll stick to Margaritas.

Queer Kid of Color: You did drugs three days in a row, and you’re now saying it’ll be your last time?

Trent Jackson : Yeah. I have power to stop whatever I want to. I chose to do it and I chose to stop. Just like I chose to end my relationship and really start to make some changes in my life before they really get out of hand. I look at all this as preparation on what is to come. I’ll know what to do the next time the issue happens again. Nothing is different, they just come in different wrapping.

Queer Kid of Color: Ok that’s fair.

Trent Jackson : Fair?

Queer Kid of Color: I’m saying you have a point. You chose to stop.

Trent Jackson : I mean are you think I will start using…

Queer Kid of Color: I’m the interviewer my opinion doesn’t matter!

Trent Jackson : When you are tired, you are tired and you know when you’re at that limit. You’re right it doesn’t matter, because people are going to do what they want. But it doesn’t mean we wont think about what someone says. Sometimes it takes someone on the outside to stop and make you think.

Queer Kid of Color: I want to go back to the suicide attempt.

Trent Jackson : Okay

Queer Kid of Color: I can’t grasp the fact that you were contemplating putting yourself in front of an 18 wheeler.

Queer Kid of Color: Was this your first attempt?

Trent Jackson : No. The second. You know I sound really unstable right now.

[Pause]

Queer Kid of Color: It’s ok. What were the other attempts? Is it something you’re not comfortable sharing?

Trent Jackson : 2 years ago. I had just gotten some surgery and I had some pain killers. Another point where I was at my wits end, and I was dating that boy then and he actually called the police and all of them, so if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be here. I should have known then that I had a purpose, because the next day when I woke up, the UPS man was at my door with a proof of At This Moment for me to sign off on.

On His Mother

Queer Kid of Color: I want to go to this. Now, Trent, no one that I’ve seen has been more vocal about his relationship with his mother then you have. What’s going on with the relationship between you two?

Trent Jackson : UH.I have a black mother, who raised a gay son.

Queer Kid of Color: That doesn’t explain it.

Trent Jackson: I’m not done. But that’s a lot to marinate on. Systematically that’s a lot, for a single woman, who took care of her older brothers and sisters and her mother, plus a child. So she has issues that she hasn’t dealt with in her own family. So I’m kind of brought into a mix of dysfunction and she takes things out on me out of anger. Most of it emotional abuse from when I was younger. It made me resent her. That’s stuff that I just don’t get and will never get. I understand why she has problems, but I feel that no child should be treated the way I was. Then for her not to take responsibility or not fully admit her mistakes is really stupid.

Queer Kid of Color: Can you describe some of the emotional abuse?

Tomorrow on part 2 of our interview Trent will reveal the emotional abuse he endure as a child, his battle with his weight, and what’s in store for the future.

****Also please remember this interview was published on www.queerkidofcolor.com a few weeks ago and is being republished now.

The Charles X finale…enjoy…

Queer Kid of Color: : Charles you know, I like you. You’re very intelligent. I just don’t agree with your philosophies.

Charles X: I have disagreed with things I’ve read on your blog as well, but I still appreciate your intentions. I think we could reach a middle road on some things.

Queer Kid of Color: Well, I could address some things now. What things have you disagreed with?

Charles X: Your allegations about liberals messing up politics. I think that’s what it was. And just things promoting conservatism. I’ve read comments you’ve made where you were discouraging the open discussion of sex and suggesting a more conservative approach of posting. I think that can lead to problems.

Queer Kid of Color: That’s the benefits of having a blog. It belongs to that person. I don’t promote conservatism, buut in terms of liberals messing up politics I do think that’s true.
I think liberals have hijacked democracy. I’m a Democrat nonetheless.

Charles X: Both sides have made their messes and I don’t think one side is more messy than the other. It’s just that conservatives have all the money!

Queer Kid of Color: Do you know what conservatism is? LOL. It’s not about money. I’m broke!

Charles X: I know precisely what it is. People do tend to use the words conservative and liberal in different contexts, so we might be having an argument about context.

Queer Kid of Color: Charles if you look at the most recent campaigns abortions and Civil Rights for Homosexuals have been the central arc in every Liberals campaign. First of all, abortions only affect women. Civil Rights for Homosexuals affect the gays. Where as not focusing on things on Social Security, Health Care and etc., which is a broader scope creates a problem. Me being conservative is me also appealing to mainstream values.

Charles X: Abortions only affect women? I think all the fathers and aborted male fetuses would disagree. I think what you’re talking about is scapegoat topics that Republicans use to distract from greater issues. The Bush administration used the gay issue to get conservatives to vote in the south. I think liberals are falling for their baiting tactics, yes.

Queer Kid of Color: When I said abortions only affecting women, I meant that abortion is a choice that women can make on their own. They don’t need permission from the baby’s father or the embryo to abort. Secondly, I think you’re looking at every Conservative as a Republican. Which is not true. Bush used the gay issue to get Republicans to vote for him in the south. You can be a Conservative Democrat and still would want to put Civil Unions for Homosexuals into our ballots to legalize it. But again this is something we can go on forever!

Charles X: There goes the CU word! Haha, I totally get what you’re saying, I know a lot of people have pet peeves about the correct usage of political terms and I understand why. But you’re right, next!

Queer Kid of Color: Okay. Also I don’t understand how gay liberals still classified themselves as second class citizens. First of all what the hell is a gay right? Don’t answer that please. I don’t want to get into any more discussions around politics, perhaps another interview. Lets talk about another posting. “God Hates Fags” Okay, you said that Church is filled with hypocrisy and underlying hatred. Could you elloborate?

Charles X: Yes, I could. I have spent much time sitting in church analyzing and toiling over every single word of every sermon. Processing each verse of love spoken from the microphone, only to hear him spew hatred with the same breath. Churches preach about loving each other unconditionally and not judging. Black churches preach about coming together as a black community. Then immediately after they tell you that gay people are not welcome in the vicinity of the sanctuary. Church is a place where people can assuage their guilty consciences. They can point the finger at the non-Christian of the world and make themselves feel as if they are above the “worldly sinners”. This is not indicative of every single Christian or churchgoer but I have seen it in so many churches and in so many lives. Black people have been the scapegoat for so long. Now they get their chance to do the same and many take the opportunity with the same welcome arms that Master did in the 1800s.

Queer Kid of Color: Do you think the scriptures in the Bible stating that homosexuality is a sin, is true?

Charles X: That was another post of yours that I disagreed with. You stated that we shouldn’t debate the contexts and truths about what the Bible says about homosexuality. I think in those times, being gay was banned because of a low population and the need to procreate. That’s it.

Queer Kid of Color: Okay. Well, you know my former boss Keith Boykin emailed me and he was disappointed in me writing that posting. He said I was wrong in what I was saying.

Charles X: I really look up to Keith Boykin.

Queer Kid of Color: The reason I wrote that is that we don’t understand that no one cares about the interpretations about what the Bible meant 4,000 years ago. No one has an hour of their time to give in understanding what homosexuality meant.

Charles X: That’s amazing. On topic, I think the statement that no one cares about what the Bible says about homosexuality is completely off base. Many have dedicated websites about this topic. Campaigns. Letters. Research. Lots of people care and the topic should remain open for debate, because the fact that the Bible is so heavily cited in our culture.

Queer Kid of Color: Let me rephrase it.

Queer Kid of Color: No homophobic person cares about what Homosexuality meant 4,000 years ago. If anyone cared, we would have settled the dispute about homosexuality a long time ago.

Charles X: No ignorant person cares. If you made that statement, I would agree. But plenty of anti-gay people try to reason what the Bible meant 4000 years ago to counter what pro-gay historians try to prove.

Queer Kid of Color: The bible is 1,000’s of years old. The news gets misinterpreted everyday. I know being homosexual is not a sin.

Charles X: I’m glad you know that! Every time someone like The Captain opens his mouth, an angel loses its wings.

Queer Kid of Color: I did an interview with him also.

Charles X: I saw that. He makes me laugh and cry simultaneously. I’m sure you read my public debate with him that I had earlier this year. I had to read him like a bedtime story about some of his views.

Queer Kid of Color: I can understand why he’s like this. So, who are some of your favorite bloggers?

Charles X: I like that you try to come from a place of understanding. I do too. My favorite bloggers are Clay Cane, Trent Jackson, Marz, and Larry D. Lyons. My number one is Marz, though.

Queer Kid of Color: I like Marz too. He’s great. We have awkward conversations though.

Charles X: That’s my twin! Really?

Queer Kid of Color: Trent is nice. We spoke earlier. He’s one of NYANSAPO magazine’s future leaders of tomorrow. I’m writing a brief story on him. And Clay and I are good friends. He’s so cool. Larry I have on AIM but we never talk.

Charles X: I used to have an out and out e-crush on Clay!

Queer Kid of Color: Oh no bitch! I’ll cut you. That’s my man.Eww I just had a Liberal experience.
Charles X: I will let that one go!

Queer Kid of Color: Ok are those it? My favs are Trent, Shawn, Fuzzy, Marz.

Charles X: The people I talk to most out of blogworld are Trent, Marz, Bobby Brown Jr. and Rodney. I talk to Omar sometimes too. I just started reading Fuzzy’s blog the other day.

Queer Kid of Color: I met Omar, Fuzzy, and Shawn yesterday and a few other Black gay
bloggers. They invited me to their party. We wont get into that.

Charles X: I can’t wait to meet all of these people. Being in Texas keeps me isolated from my people! Maybe over spring break I’ll come rough y’all up in NYC.

Queer Kid of Color: Anything else you would like to share?

Charles X: I would like to say that I am so proud of what I’ve been seeing in the black gay world lately. With Clay Cane’s journalistic and artistic success, with Larry D. Lyon’s academic and philanthropic prowess, with Trent entertaining the masses, with Marz crafting the word so meticulously to depict the journey of a young black gay man in a hostile world, to Keith Boykin’s visible status, with real love shown through Shawn/Fuzzy and Bobby/Rodney, through the issues that need to be brought up by people like you. I am proud to be a part of this and I know it will only continue to grow and get better for us.

I recieved an email today saying that BallRoom Rockstar would like to include me on their 27 emerging artists! How cool?

I’m also comprising a list of rising artist for NYANSAPO’s magazine of 10 Young Adults and organizations who are paving the way with their artistry. I will announce the people after my 6 day blogger event. Which comes to its conclusion in two days!

Much love.

Charles X is a rare breed of bloggers. He ’s serious but in ways that are comical. I say this to many people, but I can say it to Charles, he’s a breath of fresh air. The boy I thought was vulgar and sometimes critical, turned out to be intelligent and refreshing. This is Charles X…like you’ve never seen before.

Queer Kid of Color: Who is Charles X?

Charles X: Charles X is that one wild young blogger from Texas who never posts.

Queer Kid of Color: What makes you wild?

Charles X: I don’t really consider myself wild, but my comment section has always said otherwise! I think what people consider “wild” about me is that sometimes the decisions I’ve made that I’ve posted about have been spontaneous. Most people can’t relate to that, because while they’d like to be more free spirited, they aren’t for whatever reason. So some of the things I say or do is “wild” to them.

Queer Kid of Color: Lets talk about that for a moment. You’ve used the word nigger, called God a fag. What makes you come out with these things?

Charles X: I have used the word nigger, but I don’t recall referring to God as a fag. One of the names of my posts is “God Hates Fags”

Queer Kid of Color: Oh that’s right! Sorry -reading between the lines.

Charles X: Haha it’s OK. My use of the word nigger has been controversial and I’ve always been open to both sides of the argument. I think context is the key in terms of that word and the way in which I use it is not offensive to me or the ones closest to me. In reference to my statement that “God Hates Fags”, that was making a statement about how the church interprets God’s words and feelings about gay people.

Queer Kid of Color: Charles with so many blogs out there, what distinguishes yours from the rest?

Charles X: Many blogs concentrate on a central theme or issue such as pop culture, gay culture, black culture, their own personal lives, or one thing that interests them. I think my blog is a healthy mixture of things. Lately, I’ve been talking about personal matters but I’m about to break out of that mold. Also, I am not afraid to call people out on my blog!

Queer Kid of Color: I want to go back to this “nigger” word. I personally don’t care who uses it. I’m offended either way. But what do you think gives black people-like yourself-the authority to use it?

Charles X: I don’t think authority is the issue when it comes to saying a word. I don’t think I’m special or above anything or anyone for using the word. Words have the power that you give to them. I refuse to let any one word stigmatize me or victimize me in any way, be it nigger or faggot. I’ve been called both and I probably will be again. I could cry about it and be the victimized minority or I can take emotional control of the situation. I chose to do the latter.

Queer Kid of Color: Very well said. I take it personal when someone uses the word. But since you cleared that up-lets talk about some of your blog postings. Starting with “You’re Queer! This minute, this year!” It was the first post I read on your blog.

Queer Kid of Color: It’s over a year old. I came across it a month ago. I read the first part after the second part. But what was the means for you to do these postings? Were you trying to bash people whom you think were gay but didn’t want to dispel or were you just being comical?

Charles X: Some people were being bashed, but not because they were in the closet. For example, I think I made fun of 50 Cent. I just think he’s a terrible rapper who contributes nothing to art or society. Most of it was just for the purpose of being comical, but the point was that it’s funny when gay celebrities are obviously gay and try vehemently to keep it a secret anyway.

Queer Kid of Color: How is that funny? What’s difficult about understanding that the society we live in doesn’t allow people to be walk comfortably on their own shoes?

Charles X: It’s not difficult to understand at all, I’ve been there and I think about it everyday. It’s not hard for me to understand the situation society places gay people in. It’s like Little Richard or Richard Simmons coming out in a interview and saying they love women. The whole elephant in the room fiasco.

Queer Kid of Color: I would have to disagree with you.

Charles X: Let me rephrase that last part

Queer Kid of Color: You’re basing your answers simply on stereotypes. Little Richard and Richard Simmons are both effeminate. Had they not been I don’t think you would have said that.

Charles X: They are both effeminate in mannerisms, yes, but they also have plenty about them that lead other gay people to know about them. I believe in gaydar. I believe a lot of gay people have an intuition about people similar to them in this way. So when one of “our own” denies their true selves, it’s actually sad. But any serious topic can be alluded to and expressed comedically through satire.

Queer Kid of Color: But didn’t Little Richard confirm he was bisexual?

Charles X: I’m not saying he isn’t. For all I know, he could be, but he’s definitely not heterosexual as was once purported.

Queer Kid of Color: Okay. Next posting. “responsibility as a blogging community:”

Charles X: That was a big one.

Queer Kid of Color: You said that Jamal K. Franklin should reveal the anonymity of the person who said he intentionally infects people. My questions is, why should he reveal the person?

Charles X: Because that person is killing others. He is infecting them knowingly with a fatal disease. If someone was going around stabbing people, I would expect that someone would reveal who that person is. That is one of the most vile actions I’ve ever heard of.

Queer Kid of Color: But Charles, it is the responsibility of any person to keep themselves safe. Not the responsibility of the next partner. Sex is a natural thing. I’m a virgin, but I know for sure that people want to feel the natural feeling of a penis. So I could understand why people don’t use condoms. But what I don’t understand is why when someone gets infected they blame the person who infected them.

Charles X: I agree that it is everyone’s responsibility to keep themselves safe. It absolutely is. However, almost everything we do is a risk. Sex even with a condom is still a risk. But if someone has information that could save lives and lessen that risk considerably, I don’t see why you wouldn’t reveal it unless for selfish self preserving reasons. If a cousin brought a poisoned pie to Thanksgiving, I would tell Bigmama and Sharackashay! Yes, they’d have been risking food poisoning anyway, but I would warn them.

Queer Kid of Color: Why do you think 46 percent of black SGL men are infected?

Charles X: This has been said many times before, but because of the stigma attached to being both black and gay.

Queer Kid of Color: What stigma? What’s so difficult in understanding how to take responsibility for your own actions?

Charles X: Like I said before, I agree everyone is responsible for their own actions, but that doesn’t mean that we should leave each other out in the cold. We need to look out for each other and help one another. We don’t need to let each other be infected and killed, because everyone should be responsible. The truth is not everyone is responsible. We need to do all we can to stop the spread of HIV and if that means calling someone who is knowingly spreading the disease around, then so be it. The stigma is that black men are supposed to be these paradigms of raw masculinity and aggression. When something like homosexuality, which is seen as weak and disgusting in the black community, is seen in black men then people have a huge problem with it. When you have the church, the school, the mother, the television telling you that you’re nothing but a nigger and a faggot then people start to believe it. And why even protect yourself when you are some vile thing that everyone hates? That is why infections are so high.

Queer Kid of Color: Intelligently put. But I still disagree.

Charles X: I’ll have to interview you next!

Queer Kid of Color: This is something we can discuss forever. But we need to move on.

Charles X: Yeah.

We all love Marz. He’s the youngest of all the bloggers and he got the LGBT community a win as Best Teen Blog.

What are some of your hobbies?
Um, writing. I love clothes shopping, and that’s why I’m always low on funds. I like partaking in cultural things, like museum exhibits and jazz concerts. But, I haven’t been doing much of that lately. Right now my main hobby is writing. I walk around Philadelphia with this composition book and I’ll just think of a cool line or something and have to jot it down, so I don’t forget it. Or I’ll just think of a poem, or a paragraph it will just flow out. I have to stop shopping momentarily, because I have a slew of birthdays and the holidays coming up, but I’m trying to change up my style, because I feel I’m boxing myself in fashionably.

What are some of the blogs you read?
You’re trying to get me cursed out if I don’t mention someone. Everyday, I look at In the Mix with Trent and Keith Boykin. About three times a week I see if Clay Cane has written anything new. Although you gotta stay up on clay because he writes some hot stuff and then it’s missing when you go back. Those are the mainstays, it seems that a lot of the other black gay bloggers are posting infrequently right now. It’s sort of what happens, I’ve noticed that the seasons change and everyone changes with how much they post. but once the winter hits there will be tons of posts, and new bloggers to meet. I enjoy meeting the new bloggers, and seeing who will stay and who won’t. But besides that Omar, Charles X , D-Place, Bobby Brown Jr. Rodney, Ms. Pam, Afrodyke, Ladynay, Motivated Ho, LJ, I can’t name everyone. I hope no one gets mad. But my favorite blog I would have to say is Smiling on the DL, which transitioned to the unconquerable Soul. His blog always makes me smile and there is just so much growth that he expresses.

What do you want to study in college?
Right now, I want to study a myriad of things. But basically about sex and sexuality. I don’t have everything coordinated right now, and it’s driving my mother and father insane. But I want to be a sexpert or sex therapist or something in that field.

What about a career in writing?
I’m currently working on a novel. It’s still in the outlining period because I had to rework some things out. It’s in the very early phases. I’m still on the first chapter. Before you ask, so far, it’s about gay teens of color in Philadelphia. I want to portray real gay teens and not what’s in media, or what’s in other gay teen fiction. I have read a lot of gay teen fiction and I’ve only come across one character in Jess Mowry’s book Babylon Boyz that I think is a real example of a gay teen in the inner city. Although the book wasn’t solely about him, because he was a supporting character. Most books with gay teens has the boys sad and grappling with who they are, and although that is a reality that a lot of gay people face. I want to show different facets then the one sided, boy-who-is-afraid-to-go-to-the-GSA-meeting-finally-goes-and realizes-that-the-football-team-leader-is-there, type book.

When is your date with queer kid of color?
How unprofessional? Marz and the Queer Kid of color will go on a date sometime next year. I have a busy schedule and I’m trying to get all my applications, scholarships, grades, and everything else together. It will probably be sometime next year in the spring, late spring. Because hopefully I’ll get into NYU, and I’ll be in NEW YORK more frequently.